Top ten signs that you are drunk…

1. You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the Earth.

2. Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you

3. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.

4. Your idea of cutting back is less salt in your Margarita

5. You can focus better with one eye closed

6. The whole bar greets you when you come in

7. You haven't had a driver's license in such a long time that you have forgotten what one looks like

8. Roseanne looks good

9. You don't recognize you wife/husband unless seen through the bottom of a glass.

10. You spent more time on the floor than you do standing up.

-Darion